Life Is Change and I Object!
It's been a long. A long time coming. But I know a change gonna come. Oh, yes it will.
-Sam Cook
I’ve been observing a part of myself and wanted to “come clean”!
I don’t know about you but when change comes along quite often my first reaction is not a welcoming embrace. I have found myself over the years resisting, asking why, and throwing tantrums when a change comes that I am not prepared for or thrilled to experience. It can be little changes or big ones; I treat them all with equanimity and my response quite often is a resounding “oh hell no!”
Growing up it appeared as if having control would make me the master of my own life. If I could manipulate things to go my way and stay that way, I would win the game of life and minimize my suffering. I’ve spent hundreds of hours and thousands of dollars exploring the many ways to control change; belief systems, lifestyle changes, holding on tightly to people and things to name a few, all yielding less than satisfactory results. Many years and many changes later I’ve come to reconsider that approach and ask myself is it really the changes that are so uncomfortable or how I am defining them in the moment?
The most dramatic example in my life was when I recently “changed” from a healthy person to a sick person by a health crisis that impacted every aspect of my life. I found myself in what was to me a high stakes situation not knowing how much change I could handle or how. And then in the midst of some wonderful conversations and unexplainable grace I began to have insights and a deeper understanding of what was actually taking place. I found an anchor in my breath and started releasing the grip I had on my thoughts labeling what was happening to me. In that spaciousness I remembered change is a natural state in life and is my ally.
When I was confined by the definitions of my condition everything felt painful, desperate and permanent. It was immediate fear, suffering, and feedback that I was locked into my thoughts. Yet when I would connect with my natural state in moment-to-moment awareness and I remembered that change is the constant and that recognition actually brought me hope and healing. If everything is in a state of motion and flow then even my physical disturbance and my thoughts about it were going to change. We are not fixed beings in body mind or soul and that means the possibilities for expansion, creativity and possibility are unlimited.
“This too shall pass” my mother always said, wisdom I didn’t really understand at the time. Whether it is physical discomfort or my limiting beliefs, when I allow myself to feel fully and let them move through me it alters every aspect of my experience. And when I make the connection that holding on to my thinking about something is contributing to my being stuck in it, I am closer to the possibility of remembering my true nature and the peaceful place within.
The point isn’t to avoid or eliminate any of what I feel along the way including the discomfort but to welcome all aspects of my humanity and dance with all the rhythms in my life. To be able to move with relative ease from one situation to another has opened me up to a more curious experience of life and left room to be able to listen to my intuition and creative thinking. Let’s dance!!
Sent with love,
Jessie