The Un Pursuit of Happiness

“You are allowed to be both a masterpiece and a work in progress” -unknown

I’ve been wondering lately about the pursuit and point of happiness. It’s true, I’m questioning this whole “finding happiness” thing. So many people, places and things guarantee they can take me to a place called happiness and as far as I can tell it doesn’t have an address or a longitude and latitude and it’s not something I can GPS.

Over the years I have spent a good deal of time, energy and money in pursuit of the right state of mind, acquisition or latest trend that promised to be the fastest most effective way to get to this illusive place that one can and should seek but may never find. The business of becoming happy is a multi billion dollar one with experts marketing messages of hope and completion varying from finding the perfect job to the perfect partner to the perfect body. And who doesn’t want that? But turning happiness into a goal can find us accumulating stuff and things and even information that actually distracts us from living life in the moment. 

I am becoming aware of this conditioning to go after, strive, and effort to attain happiness as if it is something that will sit on my mantle for all to see.The notion of what will make me happy keeps morphing under the influence of what my friends are doing, what’s on the internet or what's whirling around in my own mind. And when I am chasing happiness I am also checking my unhappiness to see how far I’ve come and that's not fun and It's exhausting!  

Oh don’t get me wrong, I like shiny things, a delicious meal and a new toy like most people and I acknowledge they can generate a good feeling, but I am more interested in embracing my aliveness in all its states of mind, not just the happiness moving target that changes over the years, days and seconds. I’m curious to hear what my heart is calling for, what sustains and nurtures me and what soothes me in my times of need. I find it thrilling to let the thoughts and emotions move me and move through me while I learn a new choreography as life’s tempos change. And change they do.

I know I am on the bullet train of time and I don’t want to miss the sights, sounds, smells and sensations of what is happening now for the hope of some future that never really arrives.And that includes happiness.  Opening up to the riches within me allows me to experience the riches around me and that is happiness to me.  From there with all of its rough and smooth edges, its hard and soft lines and its light and dark hues I experience the art that is my life.